Remember to brush your teeth

You know the situation where you enter expecting the worst and end up … somewhere else...? I took my son to the dentist this morning. I had recently noticed a black spot on one of his teeth. First I figured it was only a strawberry seed or something, only I wasn’t able to get rid of it. I used different kinds of toothbrushes, toothpicks, even a fork, but it was still there. I felt terrible realizing that black spot was probably a cavity… I could feel the pain, the shame, the agony… I could hear the drill drilling… I could taste the funny-tasting taste in my mouth… I could smell the smell… I think you all get the picture. I felt like the worst Mom in history, like the worst Mom ever, allowing my son to get a cavity… I mean, he is only 7 years old!!! Oh, absolute horror… And what would the dentist say? I imagined that the dentist would be a grim looking silver haired man with angry eyes and a moustache… Would he start throwing sharp tools in my direction? Would I be needing a helmet? Should I be bringing a Bible? I imagined how he’d yell at me for not taking better care of my son’s teeth. What kind of terrible person was I!? Didn’t I realize my son was supposed to able to use those teeth For His Entire Life…!? What had I done!? Or rather, what had I not done!?

It was weird, considering my stress, but I started thinking about a joke that actually really stinks, but I might as well put it in here. I am terrible at telling jokes, and I imagine writing them down is probably not one of my strong sides either, but the way this post is going I figure, why not?

A man sits down in the chair at the dentist’s office and the dentist leans over to have a look at his teeth. Suddenly the dentist yells to the nurse: “Hey, come have a look! This must be the largest cavity I have ever seen, I have ever seen, I have ever seen, I have ever seen…”. Now, this makes the patient feel really uncomfortable, so he says (Well at least he tries to, but he has a lot of strange objects in his mouth so it is kind of hard to actually hear what he says… The dentist, however, has had a lot of practice listening to people in the very same situation, so this is what he hears): “OK, so I realize that’s not good news, but you don’t have to say it over and over again, I mean, what’s the point in that?” And the dentist replies: “Oh, I am sorry, but I didn’t. That must’ve been the echo…”

Yeah, I told you that joke wasn’t really any good. With the sound of this echo in my head, however, I put on a smile and my brave face and escort my son into the dentist’s office. He gets to lay down in the funny-looking chair, he gets complimented for being a good boy (and inside my head I go “yeah, he is a good boy, but I’m a bad Mom, a bad Mom, a bad Mom…”), he gets to look at the cool pictures on the ceiling, he gets to play with some of the awesome tools and is, all in all, from the looks of it, having a terrific time laughing and smiling at the nurse. Time to open up and have a look... “Now that’s an interesting looking black spot”, the dentist says… After a little digging in my sons mouth they decide to call in an specialist to have another look. After a little more digging the specialist laughs out loud, showing me the black spot… on the tip of her gloved finger… “Look, this is is some kind of a seed. It might be a strawberry seed... or what do you think?” She smiles when she sees the look on my face. “Here you were, thinking you were a lousy Mom, and as it turns out, you’re really not, huh!?” She winks at me. I am smiling. I am still smiling. I am good. I am a great Mom. And I won’t ever doubt that again… until next time I doubt that.

You kids be good now, and remember to brush your teeth...