I just finished the last examining essay for this semester. There have been many of those, this semester, essays and assignments and deadlines and lectures and seminars. It’s not that I am complaining here or anything. I have loved every minute. However, handing in a final essay and realizing this Christmas Holiday will actually provide time for some actual rest is pretty special. At first I felt quite euphoric over this, but now, a couple of hours later I am starting to feel… empty. It’s like I have given birth but I am not permitted to cuddle with my baby, or babies, in this case. I have e-mailed my babies to my teacher, and now there’s just… me. What to do? Well, why not visit blogland and see if my friends there will be willing to take me back after having had deserted them for months…
I may have been working hard this semester, but guess who has been working harder? My laptop! Which is not exactly mine, since it is the only functioning computer my family has, and we use it for everything: I use it to do school stuff, but everybody else use it to download various material from the Internet, to play games, to play music, to store and edit photos, to order merchandize, to watch movies, to facebook/msn/blog, well, you name it… “My” laptop has been complaining about this. Loudly, he has been telling me he needs a vacation. That he would like to go to a spa. That he desperately needs a massage and a facial, and that he would like to have a foot rub too. I have not listened to him. I have been pushing him further and further towards the edge. I have refused to let him have any sleep; sometimes I have forced him to stay up all night! And now he has started to get even. Three times in a row he has been shutting down on me. At random, it would seem. But every time, he has managed to kick me where it hurts the most. He’s sneaky; I’ll give him that…! The first two times he went all “black screen” on me was when I was having important online seminars discussing literature with my teachers. The last time was just this morning, just as I had pressed “save” on the document containing my final essay. First he showed me a blue screen with strange words and symbols on it, next thing he showed me a black screen with strange words and symbols on it, and finally the screen was just black. No strange words. No strange symbols. Black. After about 30 minutes of tears, sweat, frustration and agony on my part, he decided to come back to life. He has been fine, kind of, since then, but I hear the fan inside him is getting a little loud... I can tell he is annoyed with me. So what do you guys think? Should he get a vacation? Or maybe I should get him a new partner… I mean really, it’s the holiday season, so why not? My laptop might be thrilled and all beside himself with joy if he was to meet…say… a brand new iPad, maybe…? So Santa, wherever you are, I won’t ask for much this year. Just give me an iPad. If you won’t do it for me, do it for my laptop… He needs it.
fredagen den 15:e oktober 2010
This summer there has been an interesting art project going on in Mariestad, the town where I live. The town's city council decided to hire an artist, Carolina Falkholt, and let her decorate the silo down in the harbour. This huge building used to be big and ugly, but now it is big and... kind of beautiful. Carolina Falkholt is one very talented woman, let me tell you. A lot of these grafitti paintings she did herself, others were done by other artists that she invited. But what's more, even ordinary people who live in Mariestad, or people who just happened to be in the area at the time, were also allowed to spray away at the walls. Of course, me and my family took the opportunity...
Now I would like to share a couple of photos with you guys. Please enjoy. Soon, photos will be all that remain of this event. The silo will be demolished during this fall, to give room for new houses and buildnings that probably won't be quite as colorful.
The activity down in the harbour made a lot of people curious...
This one is my favorite...
This car belongs to the artist herself, Carolina Falkholt.
A beautiful eye
Another beautiful eye
Pretty cool, huh?
This one gets my imagination going...
L - my pride and joy
L and me
L feeling creative
I väntan på ålderdom...
(Swedish for "Awaiting growing up/aging").
torsdagen den 14:e oktober 2010
I have always looked up to the two of you. Strong and united, you have been my role models. Growing up I was trying hard to copy your ways and, in many ways, I still am. You were always consistent. You seemed to know so much and you had that special way with words, with art, and with music… In our home there was a sense of intellectual humor, of irony and of sarcasm mixed with tenderness and genuine warmth. The two of you, although very different from each other, are yet to such a great extent two parts of a whole. All I want now is for you to be proud of me. Proud of what I have become. Proud of choices I have made. As I sometimes struggle on my journey through life, again and again, you are there, rescuing me. Lifting me up. Giving me support. Offering advice. Encouraging me. For that, I will be eternally grateful. Without you, I would be nothing and nowhere. Thanks to you, I am.
I love you.
fredagen den 10:e september 2010
I am so sorry for having been such a stranger lately. School has been pouring assignments over me, and I just recently got back to remembering how to actually breathe. I take three courses separately at the moment: English Grammar, Language Proficiency and Pronunciation. I have a lot to learn, but I have to say I am really enjoying myself while doing it. My first written assignment in Language Proficiency was to write a “Description” using 175-200 words. We could describe anything we wanted, our teacher told us. I would actually have preferred being given a picture or a topic or a keyword or something, but no, we should feel free to write about anything. Now, that is harder than it seems, let me tell you. This is not my language, I am just borrowing it. And the teacher who is grading us is an actual American – can you believe it? Not one of those fake wannabe Americans, Swedish teachers who lived a couple of years in the States, no, she’s a genuine authentic actual American. She told us to call her Susan. I almost called her “Mrs …” because I kind of felt like I was back in high school again… As I am the ambitious kind, of course I am aiming towards good grades in school. Susan will either give me an F (fail), a G (pass) or a VG (pass with distinction). My assignment was handed in yesterday and next week she’ll let me know if I passed or not. What do you guys think? I am ready for your verdict. :)
“Sometimes when I am under a lot of stress and pressure suddenly I feel an urge to retreat. On these occasions I go to my happy place. This is a place I have mentally created and therefore it exists only in my head. I close my eyes and I can see it. There is a wooden bench right next to a small lake surrounded by tall pine trees. At night the water of the lake looks pitch black and the air rising from the lake is misty. It looks as if there were elves slowly dancing across its surface. The beauty of it all is breathtaking. As I walk towards the lake my toes are softly caressed by the moist grass. There is no sound. There is no motion except for me, since I am the only one here. Descending into the water I start to feel its soothing embrace yet again. It covers me, it carries me and it comforts me. Suddenly there is air again. I can breathe. I fill my lungs and stretch out floating in the middle of the lake. Through night swimming I find peace. “
Michael Stipe (R.E.M.) kind of inspired that one really. (Nightswimming is my favorite song ever.) Well, I should get back to hitting the books. And maybe do some laundry and vacuuming while I’m at it. You guys take care. I’ll talk to you later.
fredagen den 27:e augusti 2010
“Please? Do it for me?”, my daughter pleaded. “At least one of them, you’ll love them”! “No”, I told her, “I won’t. I’m not into that kind of stuff”. “But just read the first one”, she insisted. So I did.
I read Twilight. And New Moon. And Eclipse. And Breaking Dawn.
And I was hooked.
torsdagen den 26:e augusti 2010
I am the woman
You are the man
I do the dishes
You wash the car
I do the laundry
You change the tires
I get the groceries
You hold the TV remote firmly in you hand
and as you are relaxing on the couch
I am still in the kitchen folding laundry
If we really are equal
…maybe it’s time for me to go wash the car?
onsdagen den 25:e augusti 2010
Please enjoy a couple of snapshots from this summer...
Kids create art... I love those faces! :)
Nature creates art...
I love these...
Polka dot rose
We stepped out of our shoes...
... and dove into the lake
This is me actually wearing a dress... :)