55 - You will return

wonderful star

worshipped by many

you will return

light up my days

even my nights

bringing back green

by

thawing

melting

flooding

birds and leaves and butterflies

all will sing

and dance

in your honor

seeds will grow

toes will touch grass

lovers awake

way up there

on  a clear sky

you belong

beautiful

sun

Exploring Green

I think it's time for me to explore a color. I got the inspiration to do this kind of theme from a very talanted blogging woman that I amire, Hilary. We have had a lot of white stuff outside here in Sweden lately. Lots and lots of white stuff. This winter has been long. And cold. So when I chose a color, it was an easy pick. I chose green. My favourite color.

Chestnut flowers and beautiful leaves

Ivy

Green boys looking at the sun... or expecting rain...?

Just some random leaves

Green means peace...

Spring time




 

Enter my heart...

Light and shade

Watch out, I'm sharp...

Mysterious green door

Everybody knows

I felt like doing someting different for once. It seems I have a lot to do for school, books to read, papers to hand in, assignments to finish. And as always, when I'm busy, I seem to find about a million other things I'd rather be doing... So I tried this... I put together a couple of photos I have taken, and combined them with a song me and my very talented brother Anders Järnebrand recorded a couple of years ago. It is a cover of Leonard Cohens wonderful piece "Everybody knows". I just sing, my brother does everything else.

Well, I probably should be getting back to my books... I just have to make a quick update on my facebook and twitter status... and make some more coffee... and maybe fold some laundry (did I actually write that!?)... and prepare lunch... and... maybe take a nap? ;)

Gorgeous February

I can't help it, I just love this season. Gorgeous February.

The cold, the snow, the beauty, the frost, the frost bites...

Well, maybe not the frost bites...

Here are some more winter photos from where I live. Enjoy...

Last night's sunset. The view from my living room.

The town you see is Mariestad. My town.

The island of Torsö. This is where we spend our summers.

I took a walk on the frozen lake of Vänern.

I love how they look so soft, even though they are frozen.

I love those three oaks in the middle.

I follow them through the seasons.

I admire them in the Winter, in the Spring,

in the Summer and in the Fall.

Welcome to our place. In a couple of months. Or so.

The thoughts of a snow flake

Just look at us snowflakes. We are so small and so fragile, in all our beauty. But the things we can accomplish if we stick together... In the interaction with others we can achieve great things. Together with our family, our friends, our contacts, our facebook friends and our followers, no matter how many or how few they might be, snowflakes feel strong and able to perform miracles every day. We are powerful and beautiful and we can seem a little bit cruel at times, but we don't mean to. It's just Nature. We're all just frozen rain drops, you know. We'll all be water one day.

I have heard that no snowflakes out there are alike, that we are all individuals. We are all unique. Really? Could that be true? Just think about all the snow that has fallen on Earth over the millions of years this rock has spinned... Just think about all the snow that has fallen outside my kitchen window since yesterday. A lot of snow. A lot of snowflakes. And to think we are all unique... That thought is larger than my head. It feels like those times when you start to think about the Universe, where it starts, where it ends, how it started, how it's going to end, the time, the space... You know, when you feel yourself get lost in your own mind and just sit there gazing out into nothing, mouth open, frozen... (And L goes: Mom, is something wrong? And you go: No, honey, nothing, I was just thinking...) ...I was just thinking about how small I feel in the Universe. There is just so much space there and so little to fill it. There just seems to be so much darkness and so little light. Space seems so... cold... I was thinking about how I sometimes feel like a snowflake. Unique, yes. But fragile.

Hey, look at me everyone...! I can fly. No, actually I'm falling... But hey, don't catch me. Don't try to hold me in you hand. I might melt. Don't come to close. And please don't shovel me away just yet, either. Let me stay this way and remain frozen a bit longer. Keep my distance, you know. I'm not ready to melt just yet, so I'll just be chilling with my facebook friends on your lawn here for a while. On a superficial level. Frozen. But still warm.

55 - Peace

I don't think it is difficult at all
to sit and look at the sky for hours
Nature yoga
Call me yin
You'll be my yang
Watch the clouds shift
Gently stretch
Listen to the wind
Breathe
Feel the rain
Grow
See the sun rise
Glow
The sun set
Rest

full of Wonder
and Peace

Save the planet

When I grew up I had big plans. I was going to save the planet. Save Africa from starvation. Save South America from poverty. Save the USA from the death penalty. Save the whales. The seals. The gorillas. You name it. I joined Greenpeace. I joined Amnesty International. I joined Miljöpartiet de Gröna, the Swedish environmental party. I recycled. Big time. I was a rebel. I planned on being an environmental activist. I planned on writing books. Creating art. Paint. Take pictures. Write songs. Express myself. I had big plans.

And I got pregnant, 20 years old. I became a Mom. That shouldn't change things, but it did. I got lazy.

Sigh.

I will soon be 35. I'm back in school, pursuing a career as a teacher. I guess my plan is to remain in school forever, or at least until I retire. Or die. And maybe that's how I eventually will save the world - by saving a couple of teenagers. Maybe that's the way to go. Start with yourself, your family and friends. Your students.

Who knows? I still might write a couple of books some day. I could still be an environmental activist. I still write songs. I'm still a member of Amnesty International. I can still save the planet.

And I still recycle.

I am cat woman

I am cat woman.
My eyes may be blue and innocent daytime,
but at night they glow in the dark.
I have seen it all.

Watch out.
I am so strong.
A force of Nature,
nocturnal.

Always out there defending the weak and the poor
against injustice everywhere.
Jumping from rooftop to rooftop
dressed in black leather.

Behold!
A dark silhouette against the Moon.
Here I come to save the day...
You'll never know what hit you.

I am cat woman.
Hear me... meow


This is one of the many different characters crowding my brain. Don't mess with her... :)

Valentine's Day

Please don't give me chocolate hearts
All I need is you
Tell me you love me
and I am yours for ever

Listen to my soul.
Dive into my brain.
Look into my heart.
Taste my thoughts.
Feel my melody.
Hear my mind.

Please let me express
all that is in me.

Keep you door open.
Don't slam it in my face.

I believe in love.
Love believes in us.
I believe in you.
Please believe in me.

55 - Going home

On the train
I put my feet up
Lean back into my seat
Gather thoughts from today,
try to organize them a bit
I watch the trees fly by
The snow
The purple sky, so cold
I close my eyes
and I listen to the sounds from the tracks
The rythm
soothing
I'm going home

Getting personal

I have decided it's time for me to get personal. Well, not that personal really, I won't get undressed or anything, but I would like to show you some things from my home that are important to me. And I want to tell you something about them, too.

So, buckle up, here we go...



This is a sculpture me and M got when we got engaged. That was in 1995. We are still not married. Sometimes this really makes me sad. I love this sculpture though, I love how they seem to find such good comfort in eachother. That is what I want. And some love letters, every now and then. ;)



This is the view from my kitchen. The buildning you see is actually my son's school. Very convenient in the mornings, I tell you... And yes, we do have some snow here in Sweden.

This is a flower arrangement I made the other day. It has kind of a Spring theme. Even though I usually don't complain about winter, this one has been really long and cold. The butterfly is fake, obviously. I could never force a real one pose for me like that... ;)

This is a flower I got for M when he turned 34 the other day. I don't think he appreciated it as much as I would have, though. And I don't think it's because I'm a girl either, he probably just doesn't like flowers all that much. Too bad for him.

This is the Love of my life. It's a She. M got her for me when I turned 30. She is perfect. Isn't she beautiful? Sounds wonderful, too. I wish I had more time to play...

This one's a He. His name is Lennart. I named him after a very cool Latin teacher I once had. Lennart has a secret dream that I would be a better guitar player. I feel kind of sorry for him. But I tell him to keep on dreaming.

This is a book I had to read for school, after I had read it. It doesn't even resemble a book when I'm through with it, now it looks more like a Christmas tree... Sad. I wish I remembered what I read, too.

This is my family. I had these photos developed and wrapped as a birthday gift for M this year. I think he actually liked them. Not the one of himself though, beacause he's kind of shy. Or at least he says he is. I am the photographer. I took the one of myself too... :)

Last but not least, this is where I like to sit when I read or when I listen to music. I have slept here a couple of times too. I've had wine here too, well... let's just say I've done a lot of things here. A good spot.

Well, that's all for now. I hope you enjoyed the ride. Come back soon. I'll make some coffee.

Three cats I used to live with

Once I lived in a home with three cats. There were people living there too, obviously. This story is not about them however. I might write about them some other time because they all had some very interesting issues. There are a couple of good posts there, just waiting to happen. Some other time.

I never considered myself a cat person, but these cats became my friends. Marcus, Lucas and Theodore. (I lived in a preacher's house at the time, a fact that might explain their Biblical names.) These cats were a bit strange, all three of them. They were all Siamese. That means that when they meow (is that even a word...?) they meow extremely loud. These three were no exception. They all had blue eyes. Beautiful. Lucas eyes were, well, wait for me to google this since I seem to be lacking the vocabulary... Again. ...Lucas suffered from esophoria. According to Wikipedia this is characterized by inward deviation of the eye. Poor Luke. He was so cute but he used to walk into things. He used to scare me half to death too, in the mornings, jumping from the floor, right up on top of innocent old me still asleep in my bed. It was like being punched right in the chest. He was one heavy cat. Kind of fat, really, to tell the truth. But I loved him.

Then there was Marcus. He actually belonged to S, the 13 year old son in the family. I think Marcus was afraid of S though, beacause he didn't go anywhere near him. He seemed to like me enough however, and in the evenings he's curl up in my lap when I sat on the couch with B, the father in the family, when we watched old black-and-white horror movies on TV. That is, Marc would curl up there if Luke wasn't already there... Marcus used to meow rather wildly, even for a Siamese cat, and chase his own tail around the house a lot. It was a big house. And Marcus was really fast. You never knew where he'd turn up...

And then there was Theo. Theo was like one of those really old men that you see sometimes, and you're not really sure if they're still alive or not. Wait a minute, is he still breathing, somebody call for an ambulance...! Yeah, that kind of old man... But a cat... He used to walk in slow motion. Slept almost all the time. Didn't eat much (well, actually I suspect Luke ate his food before he had time to walk up to the bowl...). Theo enjoyed a piece of fruit every now and then, though, he preferred banana as far as I can recall.

One thing that was really sad with these cats was that they had no claws on their front paws. They had all been surgically removed. This was done to save the furniture. I was a Swedish exchange student living in a very strange country for a year, and had never heard of such a thing before. I always felt so sorry for Marc, Luke and Theo beacuse of this. They were never allowed to go outside. They never saw the sun, felt the rain, chased mice - how could they have? They never felt the grass under their paws... Poor things. They were indoor cats. I mean, how cruel is that? I'd say it's horrible. Anyway, had they been allowed to go outside they wouldn't have been able to do normal cat stuff. They couldn't have climbed trees. They couldn't have defended themselves against other cats. They would've been so out of their elements. So I felt really sorry for them. When me and S got home from school they'd sit there and beg with their blue eyes for us to let them go outside. But no.

I am still not a cat person. I'd really like to have a dog one day though. A big one. But my family has troubles with allergies so there won't be a dog in this home, unfortunately. Unless somebody comes up with a cure for being allergic to fur... I will always remember what it was like to live in a home with three cats, and I know I'll never forget their interesting personalities. These cats are all in cat heaven now, and I hope they are climbing trees like crazy up there.

My beautiful E

My baby

She is way too beautiful

Stunning

Drop dead gorgeous

Last night she danced for me

Oh, somebody please tell me why did I let her take those dance classes?

What was I thinking?

Beyoncé, watch out. She's gonna get you. If she feels like it. She will.
Seems not long ago, she was my little girl. My funny little girl. So smart. Pony tails. So full of giggles.

Now, who is that teenager dancing around in my kitchen?

Where did she come from?

She terrifies me.

I will lose her.

I have lost parts of her already.

She has a lot of friends. Everyone loves her. Kids love her. Old people love her. Teachers love her. I fear boys might love her too. Oh, E, why not become a nun? Doesn't that sound like fun? But I can see where this is going. There will be boyfriends. Boyfriends with mopeds. Boyfriends with cars. And you'll be dancing somewhere else.

Oh, please, E, be my little girl. For a few more years at least. Listen to your Mom. Talk to me. I love you so much. I know a lot of things. Don't slam your door. Let me in so we can talk about it.

I'll always remember your dance in the kitchen last night. Seeing how grown up you are I realize how we need to cherish each and every moment we spend together. You grow up so fast. I am so proud to be your Mom.

I love you.

Exploring frozen beauty

Let me tell you about a passion of mine. I am on a constant quest searching for beauty. My camera is usually my only companion as I take long walks exploring my world. I have really been enjoying this winter. This winter is by far the wintriest winter I can remember ever. I don't even recall winters being this wintery back when I was a little girl with braids out in the countryside outside Hova. These days I hear a lot of people around me complain about the snow, the cold, the ice in the streets, their heating bills, their cold feet, how they just hurt their back shoveling. Please. It's weather, people. It's not like you can make it change by whining about it. Wear something warm. Hug a friend. Tie a scarf around your face. If you´re cold, make love. Or something. I love winter. Actually, I'm a great big fan of seasons. I love the extremes.

The other day, me, Winter, my camera, my daughter E and my son L, went for a walk on the frozen lake of Vänern. It was surreal. -20 degrees Celsius. So cold. So crisp. Sun setting. My kids actually getting along. For a short while. And the light. It was magical. Here I have posted some of the photos I took. Enjoy.

E and L... I love you.

Frozen and beautiful.

Footprints in the snow.

Sun setting. Dark snow.

White snow.

Frozen playground.

Winter. I feel strong. Exploring frozen beauty.