I do not like that woman

Let me tell you about a woman I do not like. This person is extremely nosy (is that a word?). She spends so much time digging her nose into other peoples business, so she hardly has any time left to mind her own. I started this post by telling you I don’t like her, and that’s true, I really don’t. Now, I like most people. I am not crazy about everyone, but for the most part I have found something to like in most people I have met to this day. But this woman… she is scary. I can hardly find the words to describe her. She is stupid beyond belief. She makes me feel all cold inside. What did this poor woman ever do to you, you might be asking... Well, I will tell you in a little while. And it’s not what she did to me once that upset me really, almost not what she did to me twice, either. It’s what she did to me three times that got to me.


A couple of years ago I worked at a gym. I was the cute and cheerful receptionist greeting people behind the fancy desk. After we had closed, at night, I would clean the whole place and wipe peoples body fluids (sweat mostly, I am guessing…) from the gym equipment, as well as cleaning bathrooms, showers, you know, the lot. Anyway. Sorry, I got lost there for a while. One day as I stand there behind my desk smiling and chatting with club members she suddenly approaches me. “Ah, I see it’s about time I told you congratulations, I can see a little baby bulking in there”, she says, grinning, pointing at my stomach. She thought I was pregnant. Oh no. When I smilingly told her “No, ma’am, that is just me having a bad posture, or maybe I should work out more, ha ha…” she smiled back at me and left. She didn’t even tell me she was sorry. I felt a little troubled and hurt. Did I look pregnant? Was I fat? Should I start a diet? (Again...).Should I buy a new pair of running shoes? Pilates, maybe that would work? Should I get some ice-cream on my way home from work and eat it all watching old Friends-episodes?

A year or two later I still worked at the gym, now as a health consultant, a sales person and a Pilates instructor. She approaches me as I stand showing the new spring collection of Casall tank tops. She smiles, all friendly looking. Then she pokes me in my stomach and asks when the baby is coming. I don’t smile back at her. I just tell her I am not, in fact, pregnant. That night I go home with my tears falling. I remain somewhat depressed for two weeks. Did I mention she didn’t say she was sorry?

A couple of years later I find myself working at a school. She works there too. One day as I pour a cup of coffee from the coffee machine in the staff room she approaches me. She smiles. “When you are wearing that dress you are not able to hide it anymore. Come here, let me give you a hug!”. Can you believe it? I wasn’t pregnant this time either. But this time something snapped inside of me. I had never reacted that way before, and I never have since either, but I yelled at her (and I hardly ever raise my voice), I told her exactly how I felt, I reminded her of the fact that it was the third time she did this, and I asked her how stupid it is humanly possible to actually be. I used a lot of bad language too, but it was all in Swedish and wouldn’t mean a lot to you. I think you get the picture, though. Guess what happens next? An apology? No. Instead she gets extremely upset that I cause such a huge scene in the staff room (Well, my yelling did attract quite a few spectators), and she therefore demands that I apologize to her on the spot for making her feel so embarrassed and uncomfortable… Now, I am proud I didn’t punch her. She should be thankful I didn’t punch her. I am a pacifist, after all.

She never got that apology, though. And she never will. I do not like that woman.

A good rule to live by: Do not ever ask a woman if she is pregnant. Just don’t. Not even if she is on the floor, naked in front of you, giving birth. That might be a good time to call 911, though. :)